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  • How to Be a Footballer

    (By Peter Crouch)

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    Author Peter Crouch
    “Book Descriptions: 'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times

    'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro

    **A Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year**
    **Shortlisted for the National Book Awards**
    **Longlisted for the Telegraph Sports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year**

    You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you’re suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.

    So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.

    We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We’ll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson’s assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.

    I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?

    Can’t get enough of Crouch? Tune into That Peter Crouch Podcast on Radio 5 Live

    Google Drive Logo DRIVE
    Book 1

    The Second Half

    ★★★★★

    Roddy Doyle

    Book 1

    Alex Ferguson: My Autobiography

    ★★★★★

    Alex Ferguson

    Book 1

    Quiet Leadership: Winning Hearts, Minds and Matches

    ★★★★★

    Carlo Ancelotti

    Book 1

    First Man In: Leading from the Front

    ★★★★★

    Ant Middleton

    Book 1

    Leading: Learning from Life and My Years at Manchester United

    ★★★★★

    Alex Ferguson

    Book 1

    The Game: Player. Pundit. Fan.

    ★★★★★

    Micah Richards

    Book 1

    Behind the Mask: My Autobiography

    ★★★★★

    Tyson Fury

    Book 1

    Brave New World: Inside Pochettino's Spurs

    ★★★★★

    Guillem Balagué

    Book 1

    My Story

    ★★★★★

    Steven Gerrard

    Book 1

    My Life in Red and White

    ★★★★★

    Arsène Wenger

    Book 1

    Tales from the Secret Footballer

    ★★★★★

    The Secret Footballer

    Book 1

    I Am The Secret Footballer: Lifting the Lid on the Beautiful Game

    ★★★★★

    The Secret Footballer

    Book 1

    T.V.: Big Adventures on the Small Screen

    ★★★★★

    Peter Kay

    Book 1

    Bring the Noise: The Jürgen Klopp Story

    ★★★★★

    Raphael Honigstein

    Book 1

    I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan

    ★★★★★

    Alan Partridge