You're Still The One I Want For Life(Part 2 of You're All I Ever Need)
(By T. Shree)
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| Author | T. Shree |
We are free to choose... But sometimes your choice first demands a renunciation and then a penance...and mine is You!!!
“You can’t manipulate me in your sweet lies anymore. "If you don’t tell me the truth now, then consider this marriage over, Suvanjay. Don't bother ever coming back to me or show me your face again. Whatever we had ends here... our marriage ends here... You are as good as dead to me."
The vile words I had thrown at Suvanjay on that fateful day reverberated in my eardrums like a haunting refrain. Each syllable felt like a weight, an anchor dragging me back to that painful moment of anger and frustration. My heart and mind were grappling with the possibility of losing him, and the weight of my regret was almost suffocating. My words from that day seemed to take on a life of their own, and they echoed in the corridors of my mind, a relentless reminder of my own recklessness, of the pain I had inflicted without realizing the consequences. I had taken his love for granted, and now everything was slipping through my fingers.
The depth of my emotions underscored the complexity of relationships- the way we can swing from love to anger and back again in the blink of an eye!!
Suvanjay
If you're expecting me to dance on the lips of a volcano to make you believe in me & prove the truth... I won't do that. I don't feel the need to explain myself any further. Hate me as you please…. It doesn't make a difference to me or my journey!!
I loved Anahita more than anything, including myself and therein lies the lesson…I learned it so goddamn hard!!
I wanted to fight for us, but I won’t beg for her love!! The stones of humiliation that have been thrown on me, I won’t collect them. I would happily let them fall where they land, and I would keep going because none of the verbal stones or fucking gazes full of hatred would be able to knock me down. I have used all of my words, but she was still not ready to understand my hurt. So, I will let my silence explain her now. I won’t take the responsibility of building up a bond that I didn’t break. If I have to argue about my feelings, the conversation is over.
So, this is me understanding that sometimes beautiful things end, and endings don’t need to be messy. This is me realizing that there is nothing I can say or do to fix that. This is me reminiscing that at one point in time, we were the lucky ones who could beat the odds. This is me learning that there was no point fighting for someone who was okay to lose me. And this is me finally accepting that it’s better to detach myself from what destroys me.”
