Screw you too!

What happens when you settle down and turn forty?

Dad bod apparently.

One psycho in prison, one career change and three kids later, and not only do I weigh as much as the refrigerator, but I’m also suffering from a little thing called blue ball syndrome.

Lottie’s exhausted, emotional, and overworked. I’m sexually frustrated, hungry, and ready to sell the kids on eBay. Lottie gets cuddles and kisses from our eldest, while our youngest uses my scrotum for target practice.

When it comes to our annual trip away, I’m all too prepared to jump on my wife like a bucking bronco. Only when we get home getting nut tapped by Satan’s minion is the least of my worries.